Showing posts tagged friends

waitingontherapture:

doctorwholia:

i wanna look like someone who can cut you but still bakes cookies in her spare time

this makes me think of you, bunnu.

ThisĀ is me!!

(Reblogged from waitingontherapture)
I’m not sure what connection my brain made here.

I’m not sure what connection my brain made here.

  • Me: Is that why people won't invite us places?
  • Bestie: People don't invite us places because we will say no.
  • Me: Truth.
This happened and I love it and I’m proud.

This happened and I love it and I’m proud.

Realizing you have abandonment issues is the bees knees.

Realizing you have abandonment issues is the bees knees.

While listening to the Sawbones podcast about vaccines

  • Me: Lotsa poxes.
  • Bestie: A poxload. Boxes of poxes.
  • Me: Boxes of foxes with poxes.
  • Bestie: In soxes. Xeroxes.
  • Me: HAHA Xeroxes wins.

Why I won't be stripping

  • Me: I can't dance.
  • Bestie: You don't have to. Just twerk.
  • Me: That's dancing. Can't do that either.
  • Bestie: You can. Practice.
  • Me: Practice for what? So I can become a stripper?
  • Bestie: For your pride. Feminism. Take back your ass.

Scary

  • Bestie: I think i had a dream that I read Rat Queens was cancelled.
  • Me: Yeah - it was a dream...nightmare.
I love that she dreams about me…and I love that this is the dream.

I love that she dreams about me…and I love that this is the dream.

Only four more days until I’m in NYC and spending time with this lovely woman.

Only four more days until I’m in NYC and spending time with this lovely woman.

Throwing it back to junior year of high school because I’m going to see this lady in a week. Love her to bits.

Lauren’s phone autocorrected Kim Kardashian to Kim jars ashcan. It’s the best.

Lauren’s phone autocorrected Kim Kardashian to Kim jars ashcan. It’s the best.

While listening to episode #51 of Go Bayside

  • Me: That's what I call my vagina.
  • Bestie: Herbert.
  • Me: No. Not Herbert.
  • Bestie: Lol
  • Me: Lol Woo Machine. My Woo Machine.

My sisters friend found this in the basement of his building.

Goodnight!!!

  • Me (reading a line from Bigfoot erotica): "From within the tufts of matted hair, the creature released a huge pale cock that defied logic."
  • Bestie: You can write erotica, and you can write Bigfoot erotica, but you're a shitty writer if you just lean on "defies logic" to finish your description. You're aping people who use the term appropriately. Yeah, I said ape-ing, talking about your Bigfoot porn text. Was it an M.C. Escher cock? That's the only way you can use that.
  • Me: M.C. Escher cock is my new favorite thing.
  • Bestie: It defies logic.