Showing posts tagged friends
Only four more days until I’m in NYC and spending time with this lovely woman.

Only four more days until I’m in NYC and spending time with this lovely woman.

Throwing it back to junior year of high school because I’m going to see this lady in a week. Love her to bits.

Lauren’s phone autocorrected Kim Kardashian to Kim jars ashcan. It’s the best.

Lauren’s phone autocorrected Kim Kardashian to Kim jars ashcan. It’s the best.

While listening to episode #51 of Go Bayside

  • Me: That's what I call my vagina.
  • Bestie: Herbert.
  • Me: No. Not Herbert.
  • Bestie: Lol
  • Me: Lol Woo Machine. My Woo Machine.

My sisters friend found this in the basement of his building.

Goodnight!!!

  • Me (reading a line from Bigfoot erotica): "From within the tufts of matted hair, the creature released a huge pale cock that defied logic."
  • Bestie: You can write erotica, and you can write Bigfoot erotica, but you're a shitty writer if you just lean on "defies logic" to finish your description. You're aping people who use the term appropriately. Yeah, I said ape-ing, talking about your Bigfoot porn text. Was it an M.C. Escher cock? That's the only way you can use that.
  • Me: M.C. Escher cock is my new favorite thing.
  • Bestie: It defies logic.

Happy birthday to my oldest and dearest friend!!!

20 years of friendship SMASHED into one photo. I love her.

20 years of friendship.

20 years of friendship.

A friend was on the train and she took this picture.

Santa told the kids “You wanna hear something funny?” The kids were excited and yelled “YEEAAHH!!” and he said “I’m wearing boxers and my ASS is out.”

Merry Christmas!!

  • Me: I want a donut.
  • Bestie: I don't.
  • Me: You donut want one?
  • Bestie: Lol
  • Me: I hate myself LoL

Is that how screenplays work?

Me: I wouldn’t even know what to do with a screenplay.
Lauren: Word.
Me: I’d write it and put it in my pocket.

I love my best friend to pieces…tiny little plate glass pieces.

I love my best friend to pieces…tiny little plate glass pieces.

  • A: i didn't know that anyone died in it.
  • but then i was informed as such.
  • and still kept [making Castaway jokes] at a rate of twice an hour for the rest of the night.
  • B: who cares if people died? It's still funny
(Reblogged from waitingontherapture)